Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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