you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
