dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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