Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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