I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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