the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
