So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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