The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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