did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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