I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
