come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize