I understand Curling. That high.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize