Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
