You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ketchup is God's man juice
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
