I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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