just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize