These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
