Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

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(813): View more from Florida

i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before

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(607): View more from New York

you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

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(845): View more from New York

i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.

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