This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
