You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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