Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
