Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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