I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
