we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
