I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
