imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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