tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
