What a fucking waste of an outfit
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
