Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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