in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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