how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
