when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
