you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize