ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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