She's JV to your varsity
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
