I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
