I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
