Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize