i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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