Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wanna passion pit in your ass
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
