You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
