You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
