he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
