that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
