Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
