Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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