He felt like a one man threesome
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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