I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Bring me that man meat
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
