Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Alive.
So much puke
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
