I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize