what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
