i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
