Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
