Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
