It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
honey bunches of taint.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You're like the curious george of whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize