Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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