so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
