Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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