i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
