Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
