But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
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When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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